Dancing with Werewolves
A blog by Anietta Strong
As an author, it might seem strange to promote another author’s work. I do so now for one reason, it is to highlight the importance I place in how this book affected me and, in many ways, reinforced my own views on the subject of female sado-masochism. Niki Flynn isn’t her real name; I imagine she protected her family and unnecessary intrusion by those who probably wouldn’t understand her desire to explore this subject. It doesn’t take long into the book to realise she has a passion for the subject, she isn't in it just for the money! Her book affected me in one very simple but fundamental way. It was a very simple sentence she wrote in the book which I have often quoted in my own books. It was when she was facing a scene in the pretty full on and brutal Lupus Pictures studies in the Czech Republic, where she was to be beaten. Most often caned. She knew they didn’t hold back. She was nervous, to worry if this time, unlike other times, she wouldn’t be able to go through with the beating, she wouldn’t cope with the pain. But there was a problem. She knew she would have to face herself later and cope with her failure. The lonely fact that she had let herself down. She wrote these immortal words.
“I hate the thought of being caned, but I hate even more the thought of not having been caned”
I thought, Oh My God! How true is that. I couldn’t get those words out of my mind for days and often when I’m writing a brutal scene, those words are whispered into my ear by the gremlins who sit on each shoulder. There is one saying to quit, while the other whispers to continue. As a writer, which is true of one of my writing colleagues on Texshirebooks, I have been in both places. I know that fear which is very real, I also had this real sense of failure and that fear was always greater than the pain being inflicted. When I read that I didn’t need the video evidence of seeing Niki Flynn being beaten to know she was genuine. Only someone who knows would ever have written those words. It has helped me in my sadistic roles, I said I’d been in both places, and I can see the person I am hurting fighting his or her own set of gremlins.
Nikki Flynn has inspired me to an extent it is hard to quantify. I’m not sure she is still functioning as an actress. Other’s such as Nicky Montford I have watched over the years have turned from sub to dom. I doubt you have turned your back on this scene totally, so, whatever you are doing Niki, whether you have returned to your native USA or remained in Europe. Thank you for your inspiration.